[Odessa]

this page has violent samuria pizza cats, graham cracker bears, and a talking wierd ass cat...dad...thing. is it ok to say i'm afraid?

( Dies of a panic attack imagining the horrors of this page )

[Mawelli]

You should be, since in this thread: when in doubt, _____ through the chest

_____ through the chest

[acutekat]

soldering iron through the eye

[Odessa]

So...Michal Jackson through the chest?

[abyssion1337]

pack of wolves through the chest

[Filleffs]

gummibear'd

[Mawelli]

gummibears through the chest

[Luppi-tan]

F***ed up the ass with a stick of dynamite

[Filleffs]

You just wouldn't let go of that dynamite

[Mawelli]

My exploding **** through the chest

[abyssion1337]

you get hit by dynamite with a laser beam

[Mawelli]

laser gun through the chest

[DaMetzger]

choked with a tampon

[Mawelli]

Choked on a hello kitty onigiri maker

[Jazean]

The Power and Fury of the Delirium Veil, made your head explode.

[abyssion1337]

Gene Simmons hits your weak point with his tongue for massive damage

[Mawelli]

This was not based on japanese history. This news comes as a shock and you get a heart attack, and thus die

[abyssion1337]

Gene Simmons' tongue through the chest

[Filleffs]

stabbed it the heart by Gene Simmons' frozen tongue

[Mawelli]

How about Genes Simmons through the chest

[abyssion1337]

Gene Simmons breathes fire on you

[Mawelli]

You were standing behind me and catch fire

[Ellen Feiss]

u were standing in a cold room and exploded cause u were hot

[acutekat]

vista deletes your anime

[abyssion1337]

you run out of time

[acutekat]

you run out of cold ones

[Mawelli]

you run out of ideas

[abyssion1337]

ideas through the chest

[Mawelli]

Head cut off with ideas

[abyssion1337]

you were an independent contractor working on the death star when it was blown up the second time

[Mawelli]

You were Darth Vader

[Filleffs]

you were that stormtrooper who got killed

[Mawelli]

You were that Rebel Alliances soldier who got strangled by Vaders force in the start of Episode 4

[Odessa]

You chokd to death on abyss' esence :)

[abyssion1337]

Schrodinger made you not exist

[Ellen Feiss]

u got kicked in the face by peach

[Issitheus]

your testicles implode.

[DaMetzger]

strangled with an earthworm

[Ellen Feiss]

ur testicles got falcon punched 10 million times

[abyssion1337]

You get hit by a motorcycle

[Dr.Sandman]

injecting tobasco sauce into your eyes with syringes causing you to go into shock and die.

[Jazean]

the moon falls on you and only you; crushing you like some sort of cosmic bug on earths now surprisingly near-moon surface.

[Odessa]

You are hit by a stampede of drunk water buffolo going the wrong way on the Zikan Bridge; you're pushed off the rail, fall 1,000 yards onto some barb wire of a trash barge. The impact sets off the toxic gases, exploding instantly. Your remains are hurtled onto sharp, pointy, rocks covered in excrement of Sea gulls.

You die of an infection from the rocks :)

Remember, NEVER drink and stampede.

[Mawelli]

You chokd to death on abyss' esence :)

I don't see how that is possible :P

abyss' essence through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

drank 2litres of hellfire at once

[abyssion1337]

you summoned Azathoth

[Odessa]

You chokd to death on abyss' esence :)

I don't see how that is possible :P

abyss' essence through the chest




Hehehe... i'm going to chalk this up to "you had to have been there" as i'm not going to attempt to describe just how you can choke on abyss's essence :)



also, you try to read my diary and activate the traps i've set.

no one will find your remains.

[Filleffs]

your own diary through the chest

[Odessa]

your own diary through the chest


That seems highly unlike---gurk! (falls)

[Luppi-tan]

Touched by Death

[Odessa]

Touched by a Radioactive mutant zombie squirrel in...sensitive places.

[Mawelli]

Eaten by a hungry radioactive kid with cancer from Chernobyl

[abyssion1337]

two words: Robot Rebellion

[Mawelli]

[insert item here] through the chest

[Filleffs]

overdose of jolt cola

[abyssion1337]

eaten by a bear

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

You got anal love from a flag pole

[abyssion1337]

Flag Pole through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

Otaku God rushed his wrath on you

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

You ate ALOT of poison ivy

[1337uvis]

abyss' postcount collapses and kills everything in existence. including you and excluding me.

[abyssion1337]

You thought Sephiroth was a better villain than Keifka; this ends very very badly for you

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

You thought Sephiroth was a babe and you tried to have sex with him.

[Ellen Feiss]

got samuses arm cannon and shot u with it

[abyssion1337]

You thought Sephiroth was a babe and you tried to have sex with him.

I actually succeeded; it was awesome

you tried to throw a dwarf

[Issitheus]

two words: snu-snu.

[abyssion1337]

River can kill you with her mind, and she does

[Filleffs]

ingvar kamprad's glasses through the chest

[Mawelli]

can of tuna through the chest

[Filleffs]

good ol' papercut

[Mawelli]

good ol' papercut through the chest

[SV3N]

You get in the way of thousands of screaming fan-girls and get squished.

[abyssion1337]

Incant gets pissed at you

[Ellen Feiss]

samus gets pissed at you

[Ionzorg]

The DM frowns upon your shenanigans.

[abyssion1337]

you get a brand new structurally superfluous behind

[Jazean]

your one post away from being 1 1337 person

[abyssion1337]

you challenged the sun

[Pink_Nipple]

Necoconeco eats you

[abyssion1337]

Cthulhu eats you

[Jazean]

crushed by a flashdrive, godzilla's flashdrive to be exact

[Pink_Nipple]

FLASHDRIV'D

[Filleffs]

driveflash'd

[SV3N]

you put peeps in a microwave

[Mawelli]

car through the chest

[SS_nyuu911_SS]

Head through a car window

[Mawelli]

Car window through the head

[SV3N]

13 black cats cross your path, then a meteor hits you

[Mawelli]

raped by 13 gorillas

[Ionzorg]

You listened to the Rocoulm. Also, God created the Rocoulm just so it could lead you to your death.

[SV3N]

Ivy uses Summon Suffering on you.

[abyssion1337]

you were sent to find the missing Miskatonic research team

[SV3N]

black light through the chest

[abyssion1337]

you tossed a dwarf

[Filleffs]

it went through your chest

[abyssion1337]

Yog-sothoth feeds you to her thousand young

[Mawelli]

the thousand young through the chest

[Filleffs]

you were the second last samurai

[Mawelli]

you were the first samurai

[S.ifr]

samurai babies through the chest

[Mawelli]

katana through the chest

[S.ifr]

your samurai baby through the katana

[Mawelli]

lazy Eponymuse through the chest

[S.ifr]

Your chest through me.. wait wut
OH SHI--

[Pink_Nipple]

SHI- through the chest

[Jazean]

Mad Lib'd just a little to hard

[SV3N]

Jigsaw test a new trap on you

[Jazean]

shouted your lungs out

[abyssion1337]

you failed to get a time transplant

[Mawelli]

you failed to transplant through time...wait..what?

[abyssion1337]

I went back in time and gave your mom an abortion

[SV3N]

You got Cartman pissed off

[abyssion1337]

You got Cartman pissed off

how would that kill anyone

you mixed up the red and blue wires

[Mawelli]

you failed to recognise any wires..

[abyssion1337]

there's a reason it's call the blue screen of death

[Mawelli]

blue screen of death through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

Malevich's Black Square through the chest

[abyssion1337]

orc through the chest

[Luppi-tan]

Two words: Spinach Casserole

[abyssion1337]

one word: Kobolds

[Mawelli]

two words:

[Pink_Nipple]

two random words through the chest

[Mawelli]

two randoms through the chest

[abyssion1337]

you were killed by a dragon

[Mawelli]

eaten by a dragon

[abyssion1337]

turned into a dragon killed by another dragon

[Issitheus]

raeped by a dragon.

[SV3N]

You don't make through the fire and flames...

[abyssion1337]

you fell off the earth

[SV3N]

Shot through the heart! And your too late... >.>

[abyssion1337]

you joined a Miskatonic research team

[Mawelli]

killed by a dragon hunter

[abyssion1337]

You challenged Captain Jack to a duel to the death

[Ellen Feiss]

u ate the aids stake and died

[Mawelli]

You entered the pool that had AIDS

[Pontaloy]

In soviet russia the pool that had AIDS entered you

[Mawelli]

the pool was opened

[S.ifr]

you opened it.

[abyssion1337]

you fought Cthulhu

[Issitheus]

you fought the law... as for the rest, are you familiar with Humpty Dumpty?

[SV3N]

Death by 200km bouncy ball.

[S.ifr]

200km bouncy ball through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

You died for not posting in the Hellmates IRL thread

[SV3N]

Death by the midas touch

[Mawelli]

midas touch through the chest

[S.ifr]

Ni~Paah~! through the chest

[Mawelli]

toilet paper through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

Winnie the Pooh figurine through the chest

[Mawelli]

Stress Relief Keychain through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

Rusty Wrench through the chest

[Mawelli]

Rusty Hag through the chest

[thedarkmessenger]

You died of a heart attack when I told you I just barely watched Azumanga for the first time this month.

[Mawelli]

Shocked Mawelli through the chest

[thedarkmessenger]

Pikachu through the chest. No, not some random Pikachu, I mean THE Pikachu!

[Mawelli]

Full-Sized Anime Hug Pillows through the chest

[abyssion1337]

Prinny through the chest

[Pink_Nipple]

Useful's penny-that-kills-everything through the chest

[abyssion1337]

I threw a prinny at you

[Mawelli]

abyss's prinny through the chest

[Ionzorg]

...Vicky? I think I'd rather not have her inside me...though some might.

Useful's absence becomes a gaping physical void in your body, which then turns into an aneurysm and you die.

[Jazean]

epicly failed usb connection to R2D2, he impaled your chest.

[Mawelli]

the mystery of the vanishing of Fille drives you insane

[Pink_Nipple]

:D lol although it's not mortal =D

you escaped your white room and smashed your head of the wall.

[Odessa]

and who wouldn't want to have me inside them? I'm cute, dammit! :)


you set out to prove mankind could breathe underwater with a pair of gills glued to your neck.

[abyssion1337]

bad C4 accident

[SV3N]

10 RC car through the chest

[Mawelli]

A Play Doh bullet shot from a Play Doh gun through the chest..

When we actually thought of a way to kill someone:

Raped and sliced to pieces with a rusty wooden spoonE by a roaming pack of Finnish otakus for dissing Bleach.

Beaten to death by Al Gore for assisting ManBearPig

Slip on ice on the top of the hill, slide down the hill while your head is bleeding violently, crash on a lamp post only to end up wobbling on the street and being hit by a passing car.

Hannibal Lecter eating you as the main course in his little tea party with 5 year old children

(These are some of my first killing thread posts :P)

[abyssion1337]

boot to the head

[Issitheus]

how about...

you broke into a bank and tried to pick the vault lock. i can't remember the middle part but you end up frozen in a glacier.

[Mawelli]

You were speared with a chair

[Odessa]

Hey now, i'm all for violent deaths, but could we leave out the rape? I swear, if I start having flashbacks, I'm sending you my therapsit bill.


Oh, and irate Vicky throws her pile of unwashed clothing at you. Your rib cage is crushed and you plead to death slowly.

[thedarkmessenger]

therapist bill through the chest :P

[Pink_Nipple]

Evil Cheesburger in MuckDomalds eats you

[SV3N]

Beaten to death by a 360 controller

[Kuwabara]

pushed into the road where a 18 wheeler ran over your head squishing it like a watermelon

[Mawelli]

18 wheeler with watermelons through the chest!

[Pink_Nipple]

The Blue Watermelon strikes back!....well he strikes you....

[Odessa]

You volunteer for disease immunization testing, and end up with the bubonic plague. The imunization fails.

[darth razmus]

force fed real haggis(not that imitation stuff) till it comes out their eyes

[Odessa]

You challenge Domo-kun to an eating contest, and he eats you for the win.

[Pink_Nipple]

You challenge Ctulchu to a chess contest. You didn't even make first turn.

[Jazean]

mauled by a robotic death scorpion

[abyssion1337]

you chant "Hastur" over and over again till you die in a freak accident

[Mawelli]

You fail at connecting the USB stick, and Darth Vader doesn't like that you have failed him for the last time.

[Pink_Nipple]

You fail at connecting THAT:
http://i35.tinypic.com/auwpvs.jpg

and shot yourself.


wtf it really IS my machine :D

[abyssion1337]

you kill yourself for having that as your machine

[Mawelli]

you kill yourself for not having that as your machine

[Pink_Nipple]

you kill each other arguing

[Mawelli]

you choke on a black nipple

[SV3N]

cats claw at your face until nothing is left

[Mawelli]

You wake up in bed with catgirls. The pure awesomeness of the moment kills you

[Odessa]

oh, where do i sign up for that? ^




You realize you are not in bed with catgirls and that it will never happen to you. You throw a a boomerang, and are boomeranged through the chest.

[abyssion1337]

you manage to piss off Yog-sothoth

[Pink_Nipple]

you manage to piss off Yoda

[abyssion1337]

you manage to piss off Shub-Niggurath

[Pink_Nipple]

you manage to piss off Ctulchu

[Mawelli]

oh, where do i sign up for that? ^




You realize you are not in bed with catgirls and that it will never happen to you. You throw a a boomerang, and are boomeranged through the chest.

Don't destroy my hopes and dreams! =/

Your hopes and dreams were destroyed

[abyssion1337]

you manage to piss off Hastur

no I'm not going to stop till I go through at least all the big ones

[Mawelli]

You all are so cruel

The evil clowns kill you because you are trying to take their job

[abyssion1337]

you manage to piss off Azathoth

[Mawelli]

You melt

[Pink_Nipple]

You ate some molten plasma

[abyssion1337]

you manage to piss off nyarlathotep

[Mawelli]

You got too bored to breath

[abyssion1337]

you manage to piss off Yidhra

[Pink_Nipple]

you manage to piss off Abyss

[Kuwabara]

you manage to piss off Abyss


i think i already did :P

decapitaded by a ceiling fan

[Odessa]

Your sex toys protest your abuse of them; you redefine being ****ed to death.

[abyssion1337]

your limbs get cut off and your flesh burned, then years later your son defeats you in a lightsaber duel

[Mawelli]

your limbs get cut off and your flesh burned, then years later your son defeats you in a lightsaber duel

just before this you get thrown down a huge futuristic hole

[abyssion1337]

you challenge the dread pirate Roberts

[Mawelli]

You won a Wookie in a board game

[abyssion1337]

you're pacman

[SV3N]

You're a ghost in pacman

[thedarkmessenger]

you're a ghost, period. :P

[abyssion1337]

you're a spy and there is a pyro right behind you

[Pink_Nipple]

you scared a little sister and there's a Big Daddy right behind you

[Mawelli]

You're a koopa troopa

[DaMetzger]

Yuo went to Soviet Russia...

[Mawelli]

Yuo went to Soviet Russia...

Yuo went to China...

[Issitheus]

Yuo went to Soviet Russia...

Yuo went to China...

Yuo went insane and killed you both.

[Mawelli]

We were zombified and came back to kill you all, including Yuo

[Odessa]

Yuo + You + Yaio = all dead.

[Mawelli]

Yuo + Russia + China = Issi

Died of exhaustion for dancing the Hare Hare Yukai for too long

[abyssion1337]

you tried to disprove the theory that you can't outsmart bullets

[Pink_Nipple]

you manage to piss off Yuo

[abyssion1337]

you try to steal the sandvich

[Mawelli]

You kill yuorself

[abyssion1337]

you forgot the spy checker

[Mawelli]

you forgot to post a reply

[abyssion1337]

you don't run nearly as fast as an infested Terran

[SV3N]

Ryuk kills you out of shear boredom

[abyssion1337]

You picked a fight with Ken

[Pink_Nipple]

You play Diablo II with great lags. Lags kill you.

[Mawelli]

28 seconds later....

[SV3N]

28 months later....

[Pink_Nipple]

28 days later....

[1337uvis]

you die of eye cancere after having stared at teh screen for 28 weeks

[SV3N]

(just for the fun of it) 28 weeks later...

[Odessa]

you win a contest to meet the guy/girl of your dreams. the pure awesomeness of this, combined with the abudence of excited energy coursing through your body, cause you to combust into flames.

[Mawelli]

You happened to be standing next to SV3N when he spontaniously combusted

[SV3N]

You happened to be standing next to SV3N when he spontaniously combusted

Very funny XD

You die of a seizure caused by looking at a strobe light too much.

[Mawelli]

You got hit by the Jumbo BEAM!

[DaMetzger]

You got hit by a jumbo jet

[Issitheus]

IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!!!




...at you, that is.

[Mawelli]

I'M IN CHARGE OF MALAYSIA!

so you get sent to jail and die there after starving to death

[Odessa]

you were fuc...cuddled to death.

[Mawelli]

It was the Red Ranger that did it...

[Odessa]

can it be the original? he was pretty cute. :)


you got mixed up in a fight between the pirates and the communists. you walked the plank while being read communist mantra of how you body will be sued for the betterment of all the fish.

[Issitheus]

I hereby nominate "Yuo" to be our new meme. Landslide victory crushes you.

[Odessa]

Yuo doesn't love you anymore, and you die of a broken heart.

[abyssion1337]

Duo hates you, you can't take that

[Odessa]

yuo and Duo combine to form a new higher form of inteligent life, and wipe out us inferior beings.

[Issitheus]

You^2 also kills you

[Odessa]

god gets drunk and lets the cast of azu manga daioh wield ultimate power for a day.

there are no survivors.

[Issitheus]

I'll reuse one of my first ones:
You make the mistake of giving coffee to Tomo. There are no survivors.

Oh yeah, fun fact;
in Spanish, "tomo", translated literally, means, "I drink".

[Odessa]

hehe, i was channeling you and i didn't even know it! i keep the azu manga diaoh ominibus by my bedside of emergeny giggles. I also keep Harlequinn romance novels there for other emergency needs. I often wonder what would happen if the two books were ever to meet...

Likely something on topic here.

[abyssion1337]

I use my awesomeness on you

[Issitheus]

Holy ****, I have teh Omnibus as well! It's battered (though I got it fairly recently), but readable.

Raeped.

[abyssion1337]

Dr. Tran kicks your ass

[Issitheus]

Captain Hammer'd

[Odessa]

lol Dr. Tran.


for better or worse, I hit abyss with the omnibus at one point... ( whistle).


Beaten to death with the Omnibus!

[abyssion1337]

Bad Horse'd

[Odessa]

Bad Horse through the chest.

[abyssion1337]

you were killed when I invoked Hastur

[Odessa]

Haster throguh the chest!

[Issitheus]

?He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin. He got the application that you just sent in...?
Death Whinny'd

[abyssion1337]

I use my giant robot car on you

[Odessa]

Captain Hammer throws a giant robot car at your head for 1d4 damage. You die out of awe.

[abyssion1337]

I put you in a room with one door and only the computer in the room can open it

[Odessa]

^ bastard!


I put you in a cage match with Dr. Tran, Captain Hammer, and the cloverfield monster. so there!

[SV3N]

You die trying to figure out my screenshot

[Kuwabara]

^ bastard!



9/10 times thats used for a guy^^

lost a game from saw V

[Odessa]

^ bastard!



9/10 times thats used for a guy^^

lost a game from saw V



i believe in equality for all genders, bitch :)

[abyssion1337]

I attack your weak point for massive damage

[Kuwabara]

stabbed in the abdomin (man i cant spell tonight :P)

what happened to up-close-and-personal :P

[abyssion1337]

forced to eat poison

[SV3N]

Beyond Birthday tears off your limbs while eating jelly

[Odessa]

you arguements are proven false, and the gods of logic kill you for insubodination: your brain is filled with so mcuh knowledge your brain explouds in a way that would make Kenshiro of the Seven Scars proud.

[Issitheus]

FALCON PUNCH!!!

[abyssion1337]

bombs

[Odessa]

FALCON KICK!

[abyssion1337]

giant crab eats

[Issitheus]

no, Peach Kick. Much more powerful.

[Odessa]

FALCON rip off your ***** face with a grappling hook UPPERCUT

[Issitheus]

FALCON T-BAG

much more devastating than one might think.

[Odessa]

it doesn't sound...so bad....


You zig when you should have zagged, and anvils drops on your head. A lot.

[abyssion1337]

your were given a free shave from Sweeney Todd

[SV3N]

your were given a free shave from Sweeney Todd

I Love that movie with a passion

Anyway, you try one of Ms. Lovetts meatpies, you faint from the taste and she turns you into a meatpie.

[abyssion1337]

TROGDOR burninates you

[Mawelli]

You fail to find over 2000 unique Japanese anime products

[thedarkmessenger]

you fail to find even one :O.

[Odessa]

You walk into a hypothetical situation, and are killed 31 times in a series of unlikely linked events.

(read Jasper Fforde for this reference! READ! or the owl will eat you.)

[thedarkmessenger]

you accidentally wrote your own name in the death note

[Issitheus]

FALCON RAPE!!!

[thedarkmessenger]

FALCON BONK!! *bonks*

[Ellen Feiss]

FALCON CORN UP THE ASS

[Odessa]

FALCON RAPE!!!


You make me sad. Run away!

(hides in corner)

[abyssion1337]

*fires missiles*

[Mawelli]

You here a few words from our sponsors